Hang Tight Cane

  Hang Tight Cane

“Come this way Mr. Cane, I’ll direct you towards her office”

The secretary led me through the hallway into an immaculately furnished office, where a woman resided on a large rolling chair. I sat in across her after she greeted me with a cordial smile.

“Hi, I am Dr. Sarah Nelson from psychiatric hospital of boroughfield”

“Yes, I am aware of your esteemed profession Ms. Nelson, in fact it is actually in regards to your notorious book Schizophrenic identification in adults that I was aspired to fix this appointment with you”

“Coming from an ex militant, I would take this as a compliment Mr. Cane. So, shall we get to your problem?” She took out a pen and notebook from her purse, wrote something on it and then placed it upside down on the exquisite table before shifting slightly in her chair.

“Oh yes Of course. So here it goes” I paused for a while and took a huge gasp.

“There is something wrong with me. Ever since I got back from the war, I haven’t been the same. For once I keep seeing my old friend in arms. I see him popping up in the supermarket, in my living room and even in the office. What is even more distraught is this specific phrase that he keeps yelling at me.”

“What does he yell at you”

Hang tight Cane. That is all he yells

“And this friend of yours-

“Walter yes he died in the war, back then” I finished before she could reach any other conclusion.

“How often do you see Walter then?”

“Well, When I got back from the war about five years ago, it was only a soft whisper but with time it starting getting louder and louder until it was almost booming. Right about then the voice faded and I started seeing him. His occurrence has been increasing ever since.”

“Have you had any physical symptoms that might have been the result of war”

“Yes, as a matter of fact I was shot in the head on my last day in the field. Went right through my skull, the bullet”

I swiveled my head sideways and showed Dr. Sarah the scar which had left a small area of my head hairless.  I Continued  

“After that I’ve had been experiencing some severe headaches and I tell you, they do not go away. Just like the voices, it intensified with time. Sometimes I even bleed from my nose, due to its severity”

I noticed by then that she took no notes at all and seemed deeply interested in me.

“Tell me about your wife and daughter, Cane”

“How do you know I have a wife and a daughter, are you spying on me?” I started to rise from the chair, now feeling extremely uncomfortable.

“Please don’t go away Cane, your wife, daughter, those blinding headaches, they are all imperative for this process to proceed lucratively. Please trust me.”

I sat once again tumultuously and a little afraid of what she might say next.

“Your wife and daughter, they are not real. If truth be told anything that happened after the war is not”

“What do you mean? Are you crazy?”

“I will explain everything Cane, but first you have to tell me your account of how you were shot in the head and what happened afterwards. I promise I will explain”

“Okay. I remember Walter was shouting for the ammo in the ditch while heavy shots were being fired from both sides and then a cold metallic pain surged through my skull and I fell unconscious”

I paused for a while as my headache came back. I continued forcefully

“I don’t remember much afterwards. I think I was brought to the hospital. It is all bits and pieces.”

Ms Sarah once again shifted in her chair

“You Cane, never got back from the war. Why do you think you don’t remember anything after the war except that you came back straight to the city?”

“No, No I remember all those five years after the war. I Married my fiancé, I had a daughter. Jesus, I even remember buying a gift for her third birthday. How do you know so much about me, anyways?”

For the first time in the whole meeting I sensed her to be uncomfortable

“Bear with me Cane, I am- I am actually not a Psychiatrist. I am you. Well a part of you actually. I am your subconscience . Anything that happened after the war has been the modeling of your imagination. Your wife, daughter and anything and everything in between. To put it in an understandable and more sensible way, you are dreaming. All these five years were.”

“But I remember every moment, precisely” It was as if I was assailed by someone.

“Yes exactly, because you are still dreaming. When we are dreaming, we know every tiny little detail of what we are dreaming about, it is after we wake up that we start to forget.”

“So, what exactly happened if anything?”

“You see, after you were shot, the pain in your head was so unbearable even in your sleep that your subconscious-that is me” She pointed towards herself and continued

“I created a whole different reality for you, to cope with your pain. The headaches were a physical manifestation of that pain, So deeper that is by time I got you into the dream, the more your pain subsided. Let me make it even more clear. Tell me where I got the doctorate degree?”

“You said so yourself at the start of the meeting, Boroughfield.”

“Thank you, and where did you fight on your last day at the war?” She asked this time with an awkward smile on her face

“At Boroughfie- Jesus, does that mean”

“Yes Cane your reality, the field where you fought. We often inspire our dreams with shattered pieces of reality. Some from here and some from there. Now one last thing that ought to assure you that I am your subconscience . Pick up the notepad and see what I wrote on it at the start of this session.”

 Reluctantly I picked it up and there is was three words staring at me

Hang Tight Cane

“How did you know I was going to tell you about this”

“I am you Cane, I know exactly what you are going to do. It’s part of the job. Now, it is time for you to wake up, you are ready.”

Slowly I closed my eyes and opened them again. The picture of the office substituted with that of the ditch, where I lay in mud and blood. The pain in my head had reached an epitome.  Then came the recognizable voice of Walter

“Hang tight cane, we’re gonna get you home.”

(Its okay if you didn’t fully understood it the first time. Its a bit complex)


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